


The Ineffible Plan

by Ta_Moe



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: "Gabriel is a douchbag", Best Friends, Complete, Confessions, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 04:11:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20057812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ta_Moe/pseuds/Ta_Moe
Summary: “Speaking of hell and heaven”, the demon grinned maliciously, “what if…”Aziraphale sat up straight, “What if what?”“What if”, Crowley’s eyes widened, as if he just had an epiphany, “What if, your so called ineffable plan is not that ineffable, but actually quite … amazing?”“Whatever do you mean?”, the angel looked very confused.Aziraphale and Crowley are thinking about God's plan and what it could have to do with them...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You can read chapter 1 also as a stand alone and as platonic friendship/love if you like   
chapter 2 is Gabriel being his usual asshole self and the boys figuring out some stuff between them
> 
> I have yet to read the book, it's on its way :D (but I fell in love with the show imediatly, and watched it twice in one go pretty much)

When Crowley and Aziraphale, faced with the apocalypse, claimed that god’s great plan to end the world was just that, a great plan and not THE plan, the ineffable plan, it had been a mere suggestion, something to get heaven and hell off their backs and not because they actually believed it.  
So when the world did not end after all and the angel and the demon had evaded destruction by their respective superiors – at least for the time being – and they were sitting in Aziraphale’s bookshop one evening, only 3 days past the not-apocalypse, it was Aziraphale who got thinking.  
Maybe it had been God’s plan after all for the great plan to not succeed so the ineffable plan could even start to begin at some later date. The angel, of course, was not certain of that and found himself in some sort of predicament. If it had been the plan for the plan to fail, then why even start it in the first place?  
“What was the point?”, he suddenly asked out loud, surprising Crowley, who lounged on one of his friend’s very comfortable sofas.  
They had met in Aziraphale's bookshop after an uneventful lunch date, turned afternoon snack which ended in them having to leave the italian restaurant they had chosen this time, due to a restlessness they both had felt which led them to taking a walk through St. James park, before returning home in Crowley's Bentley. It had been a nice afternoon, the sun not high above their heads anymore but also not yet setting.  
“The point of what?”, the demon asked, looking at the bottle of whiskey in his hand, “Whatever are you talking about, angel?”  
“I’ve been thinking”, Aziraphale said thoughtful, sitting straight across from him in his favourite armchair, “if we were actually correct about god’s great plan not being the ineffable plan, then why even have a great plan?” His hands lay folded in his lap.  
Crowley looked over at him and cocked his head, “How would I know?”  
Aziraphale shrugged, “I do not know either, Crowley, but maybe you can think of something, because I for all my life cannot”  
“It wouldn’t be the first time, She came up with some shitty plan for all of humanity, or us”, Crowley said, swinging his bottle around, just to place it on the small wooden table next to the sofa.  
“For us?”, Aziraphale asked, “Why would you say us?”  
“Because, aaaangel”, Crowley pulled the syllables extra-long, “all of heaven and hell are obviously all part of Her plans as well as we were made by Her just as much as those fickle humans”  
Aziraphale watched his friend sit up a little, leaning forward on his elbows, before Crowley continued, “If you ask me, we are ALL part of Her game, whatever She’s playing at. Heaven, Hell, Earth, the universe… you and me” He gestured between them.  
The angel looked at him a little astonished. “You actually have been thinking about it, have you, my dear?”, he asked with a soft smile.  
“In 6000 years on earth, there’s plenty of time to think about things, angel”  
“True, true indeed”, Aziraphale agreed and dropped his gaze onto his hands.  
Crowley leaned back again, eyes fixed on the dark ceiling of the dimly lit bookshop his friend oh so loved. “So what’s your theory?”, he asked quieter than what was expected.  
“My theory?”, the angel asked a little surprised, “I… I actually do not have the faintest idea, my friend”  
Crowley snorted, “I can’t believe that, everyone always has a theory about EVERYthing”  
Aziraphale bit down on his bottom lip and his expression became a little stern, “Well, I do not… I believe the ineffable plan is just that, ineffable, therefore we cannot understand it… ever”  
“What?”, the demon sprung up, laughing, growling, something a mixture between both, “After all that happened you still have this much faith, angel? For real?”  
“Yes, in fact I do”, Aziraphale made a face, looking a little hurt by Crowley’s words, “And I do not appreciate you, making fun of me for it, Crowley”  
“I’m a demon, I always make fun of people”  
“See, you still keep your faith in your evil ways just as much as I keep faith in the Almighty’s plan”  
Crowley stared at him, pondering whether to lie or say something entirely true for a change.  
“In my very essence I’m a demon, Aziraphale. Just like you are an angel, and that will never change”, Crowley finally said, looking from where he was standing his friend straight in the bright blue eyes, “And I wouldn’t change that fact for one bit. Yet, we are on our own now. Neither heaven nor hell can tell us what to do, say or think any longer”  
“Can’t they though?”, Aziraphale mused, “what if they come at us-“  
“Even if they do, you aren’t alone, angel! I’ll never let anything happen to you!”, Crowley interrupted, “And if they try to come between us, I won’t stop until heaven and hell leave us be – once and for all!”  
Aziraphale simply stared at him, mouth closed into a tight line. He swallowed, having a hard time stopping his eyes from watering.  
“Crowley”, Aziraphale’s voice was a mere whisper.  
“Speaking of hell and heaven”, the demon grinned maliciously, “what if…”  
Aziraphale sat up straight, “What if what?”  
“What if”, Crowley’s eyes widened, as if he just had an epiphany, “What if, your so called ineffable plan is not that ineffable, but actually quite … amazing?”  
“Whatever do you mean?”, the angel looked very confused.  
“Think about it”, Crowley said, gesturing widely with his arms, “only because Armageddon was about to happen... after 6000 years... after we” he took off his glasses and looked at his angel friend now, “had become pretty much best friends, haven't we?”  
Aziraphale stared at Crowley, blue eyes widening with every word the demon said.  
“and we didn't want it to happen, did we? We tried our damnedest to fucking PREVENT it, right, angel?”  
He nodded quietly, “Still I cannot quite follow you, my dear”  
“Granted, we did a bloody bad job at it, but who cares, it brought us together... it's us against everyone now”, Crowley's speech continued.  
“You are making no sense, Crowley”, the angel said a little worried for his friend.  
“I doooo”, the demon disagreed, “it all makessss sense now, angel”  
Aziraphale simply stared at him, “Not to me, darling”  
Crowley, who had been pacing the room during his escapades, turned around to face the angel with a serious expression, pointing with his glasses at him.  
“Angel, it's US – WE are the ineffable plan! We are the PRIME example of evil and good getting along!”, he almost but shouted.  
“You can't mean that, you are not evil per se, Crowley”  
“Exactly, who is? Except maybe Gabriel”  
“True”  
“And no one's perfectly good either, angel!”, Crowley continued.  
“Wha-”, Aziraphale wanted to interrupt him, but his friend wouldn't let him, continuing his tirade: “Not even you, Aziraphale. I thought we already discussed this” And they had done that, but the angel sometimes worried about his own 'angelicness' and whether any of the past occurrences and arrangements with a certain demon would push him off the cliff that made an angel fall.  
“I still don't understand what you are on about, though”, he said instead, looking slightly put off at Crowley's words.  
The demon smiled darkly at him, a smirk the angel would never admit to be especially fond of, “WE are the ineffable plan!”  
“We are what?”, Aziraphale asked unbelieving.  
“Yes, angel! It's US! Imagine the outrage in hell and heaven at an angel and a demon being FRIENDS with each other”  
“Well, yes, of course, but-”  
“What if we aren't the only ones with doubts, angel? What if there are more LIKE us up and down there who don't wanna follow the rules anymore? And now they've seen … well, us!”, he pointed at themselves.  
Aziraphale looked at him, then his eyes widened in understanding, “Oh, you mean like... Romeo and Juliet united their houses through their death?”  
Crowley stared at him, made a face and shrugged, “Well, without the dying bit, yeah... pretty much... what I meant”  
Aziraphale beamed at him, his cheeks a little pink, out of embarrassment or excitement, neither of them could nor would tell.  
“So, we might be the reason for heaven and hell to get united again? Giving them a push into the right direction, into what could be possible?”  
Crowley smiled smugly at him, “Yeah, something like that”  
The angel got up from where he sat, “I'll make some tea”  
“Sure, angel”, Crowley said, putting his glasses back on and went to sit where he had been slouching on the couch beforehand.  
He got lost in his thoughts a little. Like Romeo and Juliet the angel had said. Sure, they united their houses, but their sacrifice had been a lot bigger. They also, had been in love. Which, of course, Crowley had not pointed out to the angel when he had come up with that comparison.  
“Love knows no boundaries”, the demon whispered more to himself than anything and took his whiskey bottle back in his hand, chugging a few sips down.  
He shook his head and wondered, humans had such weird ideas.  
“It doesn't”, suddenly came from the side. Aziraphale was standing next to a bookcase, tea tray in hand, and walked slowly over to his friend. “Angels love all things, you do know that, my friend”  
Crowley tutted and made a face. “'Love'”, he echoed the angel, trying to hide how uncomfortable he was talking about this matter. He thanked himself for wearing his dark glasses.  
“What is so bad about 'love', Crowley”, Aziraphale asked while pouring his tea, “You must love something too.”  
The demon did not jump up startled at that assumption of his friend, he simply sat a little straighter, thank you. “I don't”, he said, maybe a little too fast.  
“Oh come on, dear. Don't be embarrassed, I know you do”, the angel said and took a small sip of his tea. He was watching his friend, who leaned a little forward, resting his arms on his knees.  
“I...”, Crowley started, his eyes slowly wandering down Aziraphale's face until he looked sideways away from his friend, “Well, you are my friend, so of course I love you... or something...”, he muttered almost incoherently.  
“Oh...”, Aziraphale whispered quietly, a small blush growing across his cheeks, “I was actually talking about your car”  
“Oh”, Crowley said after a long pause, staring at his friend.  
“Yeah”, Aziraphale mumbled, playing with the empty teacup in his hands. It was a very pretty teacup, small, white adorned with a golden rim and a few illustrated yellow flower petals on the outside. He had never looked at it this closely before.  
They both sat there in silence for a while. It had become dark outside, only a few lights came flickering through the windows whenever a car drove by outside.  
“You know, you are my best friend, Crowley. And of course, I love you too”, the angel interrupted the quietness.  
“Yeah”, Crowley mumbled, “that's why we are sitting here... right? On our own side... together”  
Aziraphale nodded, “Exactly”  
“Angel...?”, the demon asked quietly.  
“Yes, dear?”  
“Are you aware... I wanted to stop the apocalypse so we could stay... together”, Crowley muttered.  
His friend smiled fondly at him, “I did not. But thank you for telling me”  
“Yeah, sure”, the demon took a deep breath and got up, “I guess, I gotta go. It's getting' late”  
“Oh my, it is”, Aziraphale said but stayed seated, looking after his friend about to leave “Why don't you stay though?”  
Crowley stopped in his tracks, “Ah, wouldn't you mind?”  
Aziraphale fidgeted with the little teacup some more before putting it down on the tray he had placed on the side table, “Of course not, darling”  
He then proceeded to get up from the armchair, walk the few steps towards his friend and stood with a serious but also very fond expression in front of Crowley, “I just said so, did I not? I love you, Crowley”  
“Yeah, 'coz we are friends”, the demon said, not daring to hope, “doesn't mean you want me hanging around all the time” He shrugged, pretending his own words did not hurt him at all.  
“Yes, because you are my best friend”, Aziraphale agreed, “but I do enjoy having you around. A lot more than I probably should” He laughed a small laugh.  
“Yeah, same”, Crowley said simply.  
“And that's why I want you to stay, Crowley”, Aziraphale went on, his eyes transfixed on Crowley's, though hidden behind dark glasses. There seemed to be something underlying the angel's request; something way more meaningful than just a sleepover.  
“Er... sure”, the demon said, his pulse going a little too fast, as far as he could tell. Stupid human bodies. Something inside him wanted him to reach out and take Aziraphale's hand into his own, not to make a deal, not for a greeting, but simply to be able to touch him. He wanted. He had never wanted like this before. And yet he didn't. He was a demon after all. He was no mere human, aching for physical touch from the one being he would do anything for. Nope, not at all.  
Even more surprising was to him, when Aziraphale moved even closer and slowly reached out his left hand, only brushing his fingers ever so softly over Crowley's hand. The angel's eyes followed Crowley's as they went to trace his friend's hand's movements.  
Then, Aziraphale moved his hand back and Crowley felt a shudder running down his spine. The angel took another step closer. If he were to take one more, their bodies would touch. “Won't you... stay, dear?”, he asked again.  
Crowley had to swallow hard, a lump in his throat was making it impossible for him to answer or even breath, no matter how little he actually had to for his human vessel to survive.  
“Yeah”, he said quietly, because they were so close it was as if a spell would become broken if he had spoken even a little louder, “as long as... you want me to”  
Aziraphale's eyes brightened and a loving smile made its way on his face. “Good”, the angel merely whispered and nodded.  
Crowley sighed, took of his damn glasses, because not only couldn't Aziraphale not see him through them, but he also couldn't see all of his friend's face, hung them in the front of his shirt and flexed his fingers. He weren't a proper demon of he couldn't even muster up the courage to hold an angel's stupid hand, right?  
And thus he reached out with his right hand, but before he could get a hold of Aziraphale's left, the angel had turned away and was walking back to the armchair. “Come, let's toast to our new arrangement”, he said happily, holding up 2 glasses of wine that hadn't been there before.  
The moment was over. The enchantment was gone.  
And yet, Crowely couldn't be mad at his angel, only at himself. For being too much of a coward and being too slow. But maybe he wasn't, maybe that was just right with Aziraphale, Crowley thought and let out a deep sigh. He would not go too fast ever again, that he knew for sure. He sat down across from his friend, on his favourite spot on the comfortable couch in a bookshop in the middle of London, holding up a glass of wine.  
They toasted to a new way of life, to a new dawn of time and to the certainty of their friendship.


	2. Gabriel is an idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Was he here? All those times, I came here and it stank of evil... that had been him, correct? Traces of his demonic smell”, Gabriel said matter of factly, “You are a disgrace to all angels, Aziraphale”  
The other angel kept staring at him, mouth shut.

Chapter 2

Maybe the idea that they were the ineffable plan was not too far-fetched after all, because only a few weeks later, while Aziraphale was minding his own business, sorting through his first editions of Shakespeare’s works, the door opened with a customer he had not been expecting within the near future.  
The angel did not look up from his work until an all too familiar voice spoke out: “Hello, Aziraphale”  
“Gabriel?”, he turned towards him before he even finished saying his name. “What are you doing here?”  
“Well”, the archangel brushed his fingers over a couple of books, crossing the short distance to the other, “Just checking up on you”  
“You are not welcome here”, Aziraphale said, pressing the books, he had just been sorting beforehand, to his chest, “I want you to leave”  
“You cannot tell me to do anything, Aziraphale”, Gabriel said with a smirk, but he was also cautious.  
It had been a whole month since Heaven and Hell had dismissed Aziraphale and his demon comrade Crowley from well, Heaven and Hell, and Gabriel was the first one to set foot on earth since then, and the first to contact either of them.  
“What do you want?”, Aziraphale asked, keeping a safe distance, which Gabriel silently appreciated.  
The archangel looked around, as if he were searching for something, then he sniffed the air.  
“Smells like betrayal”  
Aziraphale said nothing.  
“Was he here? All those times, I came here and it stank of evil... that had been him, correct? Traces of his demonic smell”, Gabriel said matter of factly, “You are a disgrace to all angels, Aziraphale”  
The other angel kept staring at him, mouth shut.  
“No wonder you fell... or became... some kind of demonic plaything”, Gabriel gestured around.  
It was hard on Aziraphale to stay silent at his words, but he managed somehow.  
“You know, you should have just come back”, he continued. “You risked everything just for this”, he took a small leather bound book of poems into his hand, just to let it fall to the floor, “Really, Aziraphale. I mean, I can see why a demon would stray from his path, but you – an angel”  
He looked at him then, “You dishonoured not just yourself but all of us, too. And we cannot let you get away with it. It is simply not done...”  
“I guess you have no other choice, Gabriel”, Aziraphale said matter of factly, trying his hardest to ignore everything the archangel had said before, against him, against the humans, against Crowley.  
“Well, why don't you just... die... right here, right now?”, Gabriel suggested, “I mean, for the greater good. We cannot support angels and demons fraternizing can we?”  
“'For the greater good?'”, Azirapale mocked him, “What, are you afraid we won't be the only ones ignoring the hellish and heavenly duties?”  
“Let's just say, She wants you to stop”, Gabriel said and that hit Aziraphale hard.  
He swallowed soundly, but kept his stern face.  
“Nah, I doubt she said that”, a voice interfered suddenly.  
“Crowley”, Aziraphale's whole face brightened with relief as he recognized his friend's staggering shadow coming in.  
“Demon!”, Gabriel exclaimed, turning to face him alertedly.  
“Well, something like that, yeah”, Crowley snarled and walked over to his friend's side, taking place there, building a front against the intrusive angel.  
“It doesn't matter”, Gabriel took a step away from them nevertheless, “She cannot have angels getting tempted by demons, therefore I am here to tell you to-”  
“Tempting angels? I've never done that, have I, angel?”, Crowley interrupted, grimacing, “Nah, don't do that”  
“No, you really did not need to, my dear”, Aziraphale agreed carefully, “You yourself are tempting enough”  
“Angel!”, Crowley's eyebrows rose, “You did not just say that!”  
Gabriel was also a little confused and it showed on his face.  
The smaller angel giggled quietly and Crowley gave him a soft nudge with his elbow.  
“Okaaaay”, Gabriel said, “Whatever is happening there” he waved at them, “I do not care, except that I will be taking Aziraphale with me because earth is certainly no longer an option for him and he has to face the consequences once and for all”  
“Not on my watch, archidiot”, Crowley growled, stepping forward. Gabriel backed away.  
“Stay away, demon creature”, the archangel said, not very convincing.  
It seemed he was still quite afraid of what the other two were made out of after their failed execution.  
Aziraphale took a step forward, placing himself between Crowley and Gabriel, his expression serious. “Just go, Gabriel. There is nothing here for you anymore. I will not be coming back to Heaven... ever again. My home is here now and I do not care what anyone above thinks about that, about me and Crowley. He was the only constant in my whole life here on earth. He was always real with me, and honest. He is a lot nicer than any of you up there”, he said and added with a quick glance to his friend: “Sorry dear” before continuing with his speech, “I will not voluntarily go with you, nor will I voluntarily kill myself. I will not act on something you say She supposedly has said, until She tells me Herself” He then reached back and grabbed Crowley's hand, squeezing it. Gabriel's brows furrowed in irritation.  
“I will stay here – with Crowley by my side – we will stand with humanity, with the animals, with Earth against all of you up or down there! We have nothing to do with your fight! And we welcome anyone who is brave enough to stand up to you lot and who wants to join us – here on earth”  
Gabriel screwed up his nose, “No wonder you started to stink of evil yourself, Aziraphale. You are actually touching... this thing, this demon”  
“He is not a thing, Gabriel. You are!”, the angel said with a stern face. His eyes were cold and full of contempt, “Now, LEAVE!”  
Crowley rose his brows even higher behind his glasses, if that was even possible, at his angel's forceful tone. He rather enjoyed this side of his friend.  
“You will regret this”, Gabriel said, as he was vanishing from the bookshop.  
“Whatever!”, Crowley shouted after him.  
He was still holding Aziraphale's hand.  
“I do apologize for that, my friend”, the angel said.  
“Nothing to apologize for, angel”, Crowley shrugged.  
“I'm glad you were here though”, Aziraphale added and tightened his grip on Crowley's hand.  
It was warm and soft and maybe a little sweaty, but to Crowley just perfect. He squeezed back.  
“Same”, he stated simply and smiled fondly at his friend.  
He found he did that more often these days and that he had become more honest about his feelings too. Before, he would have pretended to not care but now... It was just them, what was there to pretend about anymore?  
“I hate how he talked about you”, Aziraphale said then.  
Crowley made a face, “They all do, it's their thing...”  
“It shouldn't be. It doesn't seem right. They don't even know you. You are different”, the angel went on babbling, “you are... kind”  
He was looking right into his eyes when he said that last word and Crowley was once more glad for his glasses, protecting his most inner thoughts.  
“Don't be daft, angel”, he said instead, “I'm a demon. I'm anything but”  
Aziraphale let go of his hand then and slowly moved his hands up to Crowley's face. He hovered over his glasses for a moment, before taking them off, taking Crowley's stillness as confirmation he was allowed to. He folded them up and put them into Crowley's blazer pocket. Aziraphale then proceeded to take Crowley's face into his hands and looked him straight in the eyes.  
“No, you are. You are so much more than just a demon, my dear”  
The angel's words sunk into Crowley's after all existing heart and he was doing his best not to let it show on his face. He moved his own hands up to cover his angel's and whispered: “And they wanted you dead, just because you are the kindest being in this whole universe... even befriending a pathetic little demon like me”  
Aziraphale smiled gently at him. Then he worried at his lips, “You are none of these things... except my friend”  
Crowley returned the smile, even fonder. It was not often he let himself go this much. Especially not in front of his angel.  
“And you are too good for this world, angel”, Crowley went on, leaning into the touch of the angel's left hand.  
“You keep saying that, but I am not... Crowley” Aziraphale said, his voice a mere whisper, “I do have flaws... oh, so many of them... especially around you... I let myself go... I cannot hold back”  
Then he leaned up just a bit so his lips merely brushed Crowley's and for a second the demon felt as if time stood still and not because he had made it so.  
He only realised he had had closed his eyes when he opened them again. “Angel”, he whispered and stared at the man before him. Aziraphale's hands slipped from his face. Then the demon leaned in again, capturing the angel's lips with his own once more, cupping his cheek with his right hand, pulling him ever so close their bodies almost aligned.  
The kiss was slow and soft and tender and the most gentle thing Crowley had ever done in his entire existence. He felt Aziraphale's hands move around his back and pulling him closer, holding onto him as if to make him stay forever, not letting him go.  
Oh, he thought, that's what he had meant before. He remembered the words his angel had used previously. He had asked him to stay. He had asked him to stay with him – forever, together. Had he meant this the whole time? In all his wondering, Crowley almost forgot the task at hand and only came back from his trip inside his own mind, when Aziraphale pulled back and looked at him questioningly. “Crowley?”, he teased, “Are you still with me?”  
“Ah, yeah, angel... sorry... I was just...”, he stumbled over the words.  
“Yes, I noticed, dear”, he smiled at his demon ever so fondly, holding him by the hips. “you went far away for a moment there”  
“Yeah... was thinking...”  
“I noticed.. about what?”  
“You, obviously”, Crowley said honestly, which caught the angel off guard.  
“Oh”, Aziraphale said dumbfounded.  
“Yeah... I'll stay with you”, the demon said with a smirk, “forever, if you like”  
Aziraphale beamed at him, “I'd like that very much, my dear”  
Crowley grinned and took him by the hand, leading him back to the couch, “Let's drink to that”  
“What a splendid idea”

the end


End file.
